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Just Saying

from Sunday, June29th of the year2008.

Tonight, as I was transferring in the tube, some man gestured to me. I thought he was going to ask for directions, so I took off my headphones. Instead, he slurred, “What’s your mom doing tonight, if you’ve borrowed her dress?” (I was wearing a lab coat, double-breasted, white, gorgeous). I put my headphones on and marched on. Then I got home to my hotel and read this article, about some retarded Anglican conservatives who are talking about something something not wanting to allow gay people something else something else:

Anglican conservatives, frustrated by the continuing stalemate over homosexuality in the Anglican Communion, declared on Sunday that they would defy the church’s historic lines of authority and create a new power bloc within the church led by a council of predominantly African archbishops. […] They depicted their efforts as the culmination of an anti-colonial struggle against the church’s seat of power in Great Britain, whose missionaries first brought Anglican Christianity to the developing world. The conservatives say many of the descendants of those Anglican missionaries in Britain and North America are now following what they call a “false gospel” that allows a malleable, liberal interpretation of Scripture.

peter-akinola.jpgLOL! I love how they’re talking about how hating on gay people is the culmination of, like, Ethnic Swaraji Politics. I sort of wish Gayatri and shit would drop everything and address this so I don’t have to deal with it on my blog. It is sort of fascinating, of course. The Church of England as a colonial side-dish (or main course, depending on which classes you took in college) rolled into Africa, made everybody Anglican, and all they got were these stupid Anglo Proclivities. It is, legitimately, an interesting argument, because of course, the global south is still, through the remaining colonial religious structures, beholden to the shifting fashions of the Golbal North. They inherited a whole system of beliefs that is rooted not only in Orþódox Christianity from, you know, the time of Christ, but also a whole culture of English Christianity that deeply rolls from the King James Bible to the music sung during services to Sherry in the Chaplain’s Roomz and everything else, including some things that Bishop Akinola is not so fond of. Whatever. She can take it or leave it, as far as I’m concerned. That’s how I approach the church: I take what I like (which is most of it) and the rest of it, I stick my fingers in my ears and sing Spem in Alium. Part of me wants to first address the whole issue of gays in the military before I start harping on African homophobes, because god knows I have other fish to poach, but seriously, I find it so inappropriate.

060301_pygmy_hhmedium.jpgAlso: What even is the Anglican Communion without the gays? Aren’t there other things in Rwanda that require the clergy’s attention? Aren’t there weird pygmy swaraj issues they should be addressing first before h8ing on what I do before and after church? For which, chances are, I have written some beautiful music? (PS, those Pygmies have also written some beautiful music. For my Rwandan readers, next time you want to talk about abomination, why don’t you go figure out what those pygmy polyrhythms are and fax that shit to me, because I still cannot figure it out. Maybe I’m too busy with all that Sodomy or whatever, but it’s a mystery to me and I, as a pledging Anglican, need your help!) What are those bitches doing, running around Africa in they purple robes? What is THEIR mom doing tonight, if they already borrowed her dress?

(My mom, for her part, is probably poaching some fish in a light stock right now. And she borrowed my dress the other week to cook pizza for me, my boyfriend, another homosexual, his dog, and my father, and she looked fierce).



  • I love Nico when’s fed up, how great is that, invective with learning and linguistic snap to give it real teeth.

  • Akinola’s a pig in a wig. (Or possibly a goat in a coat.)

  • bunny is beautifully dramatic.

  • I love stories of locally powerful bigots contorting historical narratives to meet an arbitrarily ossified cultural standard! Here’s another, if you want to get ready for your return trip home, whenever that is. You and Cindy should totally have a rally together. I’ll come.

  • God, how i love it when you rave–so clear and pure and beautifully on target-amen, and amen!!!!

  • Well this just totally fires me up. And I’m not gay. Music just might be a better religion than any other. I have a couple of fine dresses you are welcome to borrow any time….

  • I have a question: when you say “she borrowed my dress the other week to cook pizza for me, my boyfriend, another homosexual, his dog, and my father,” when the pizza was being cooked, was there really the intent to serve some to the dog member of the party? If so, that’s in the top 25 most wonderful things I’ve ever heard.

    Nico responds: Are you kidding? We totally gave that dog so much pizza. He was really happy.

  • Excellent. It’s one thing to just sort of end up giving the dog pizza, but another thing entirely to be out shopping and think “Oops, I’d better get an extra can of anchovies for ‘Buckminster’ (or whatever the dog’s name)” or like, leaving the pizza in the oven for a few extra seconds to get that crispy texture that “Spot” loves so much.

  • Why is this a debate at all for the Anglicans? Seems like a few homophobes are using homosexuality as an excuse to establish greater authority in their faith. I always wonder why so few people – particularly those who shout and scream, “Opression! Opression! – are themselves neither understanding nor accepting of human difference. Our foucault-ish world is bent on sparing no sector from the assertion of power. Sad, really.

  • I hope you are doing well Nico. Keep up the good fight. Fucking bastards.